Ok, so it took almost 10 years, two endless wars manifesting in casualties of over 6,000 brave military personnel and thousands of innocent civilians, approximately 2 trillion dollars in combat and various ambiguous security expenditures, and an enduring assault on civil liberties, but we have finally prevailed against the most notorious terrorist in modern American history. Turns out, Osama Bin Laden was hiding in Pakistan, the country we pay $3 billion a year to for their invaluable assistance in the phony ‘War on Terror’. Well-played Bin Laden and Pakistan, but we finally took care of business. You go America!!!
Oh, and don’t worry Pakistan all is forgiven. So Bin Laden was vacationing in your country for the past 5 or so years. We Americans pride ourselves on our remarkable capacity for gullibility. Remember when we fell for that Orson Welles prank, ran out to buy duct tape when Tom Ridge told us too, and bought tickets to see Charlie Sheen? ha-ha, good times. We will probably continue to send your $3 billion a year. It will be the checked signed ‘Your Pal, Elmer Fudd’.
There wasn’t anyway to see this coming, was there ?
Ok, scratch that.
- Act I – ‘Who Needs Wheels ? Let’s Roll !’
Back in 2001, Osama Bin Laden was declared the primary target in an exhaustive game of global ‘hide and seek’. Did the former CIA operative and steadfast jihadist really think he could beat the most powerful military on earth lead by the unwavering firm resolve of our stuttering faux Texas tough-guy, draft-dodging, former alcoholic, Yale cheerleading squad sensation and somewhat accidental 42nd commander-in-chief?
Bush: bin Laden ‘wanted dead or alive’
September 17, 2001
Osama bin Laden is the “prime suspect” in last Tuesday’s terrorist attacks in New York and Washington and the United States wants to capture him “dead or alive,” President Bush said Monday.
Speaking with reporters after a Pentagon briefing on plans to call up reserve troops, Bush offered some of his most blunt language to date when he was asked if he wanted bin Laden dead.
“I want justice,” Bush said. “And there’s an old poster out West- I recall, that said, ‘Wanted, Dead or Alive.’”
Actually, putting up a ‘Wanted, Dead or Alive’ poster sounds like a pretty cheap alternative compared to the long, onerous and expensive path we took to finally achieve our goal. This could have been the one good idea that G.W. Bush had during his eight year presidential misadventure. Too bad he was overruled by Dr. Strangelove and whoever else was really running things at the time.
In any event, there was no time for any combination of prudence, logic and/or diplomacy. It was time for full-scale war.
Before we knew it, we had our first exciting, but futile confrontation with the personification of pure terrorist evil.
Whoops…
Ok, we get it Cenk Uygur, let’s not be an unpatriotic smartass about it.
- The ‘War on Terror’ – Blank Checks, Undermining Civil Liberties and Airport Harassment Are The Best Substitute For A Plan
And after this momentous achievement in our seemingly perpetual ‘War on Terror’, at least America can feel good about the fact that we have accomplished our mission to snuff out Bin Laden without too much collateral damage? Well, yes, if we don’t count the exorbitant costs of two wars, and you are a general fan of burgeoning federal government, the assault on civil liberties, and the alienation of many persons/cultures who thought they understood generally-accepted international law.
So far, if we include the planned expenditures for 2012, the wars in Afghanistan (557 billion) and Iraq (823 billion) along with ancillary expenses (34 billion) will cost about 1.4 trillion.
And the war-related expenses won’t end there:
Then we have the 2011 budget for the ‘Department of Homeland Security’, which adds another 56 billion, including $8 billion of this for the privilege of getting harassed at the airport by the TSA.
This is not to mention the other collateral costs which have accompanied our anti-terror blitzkrieg. After all, remember as part of the bargain, we have also gotten new inventions like torture, questionable legal treatment of Guantanamo detainees, The ‘Patriot Act’ and it’s affront to civil liberties and privacy, as well as various forms of racial profiling.
- Inconvenient Formalities, Was Osama Actually Involved With The 9/11 Attacks ?
Not that this matters now that we have eradicated the world of Osama Bin Laden, the evil jihadist who paid to install the monkey bars and whatever else comprised the extreme Al Qaeda obstacle courses and training facilities over in Afghanistan, but was it ever proven that he had anything to do with the attacks on 9/11/2001 ?
Well, sometimes you just gotta go with an educated hunch when you are trying to track down mythical monsters. I hear it usually worked for ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.
So the FBI evidently did not feel comfortable charging Bin Laden with the crime of the century, ostensibly because a lack of ‘evidence’ got in the way. What a bunch of sissies.
For what it’s worth, and if the interview was actually legitimate, Osama had some thoughts on his own involvement:
- Osama and the CIA – Yippee Ki-Ay, Mujahideen !
To think, all this could have been avoided if Osama and the CIA could have worked out their differences in the years following the withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan in 1989.
It’s a commonly known fact that the United States and Bin Laden were on the same side during the Soviet incursion into Afghanistan that began in 1979. Back then, Bin Laden was part of the ‘ Mujahideen’, which was significantly funded by US taxpayers.
The Soviet Union was eventually to withdraw from Afghanistan in 1989 and the Mujahideen captured the capital, Kabul, in 1992.
Between 1978 and 1992, the US government poured at least US$6 billion (some estimates range as high as $20 billion) worth of arms, training and funds to prop up the Mujahideen factions. Other Western governments, as well as oil-rich Saudi Arabia, kicked in as much again. Wealthy Arab fanatics, like Osama bin Laden, provided millions more.
Under the supervision and close clandestine association with the CIA, money and equipment was covertly funneled to Bin Laden and his freedom-fighting Afghan rebels.
MAK was a front for Pakistan’s CIA, the Inter-Service Intelligence Directorate. The ISI was the first recipient of the vast bulk of CIA and Saudi Arabian covert assistance for the Afghan contras. Bin Laden was one of three people who ran MAK. In 1989, he took overall charge of MAK.
Osama’s military and business adventures in Afghanistan had the blessing of the bin Laden dynasty and the reactionary Saudi Arabian regime. His close working relationship with MAK also meant that the CIA was fully aware of his activities.
Oh, and ‘Al Qaeda’, that was just the name of Bin Ladens band of mercenaries in their noble fight to rid Afghanistan of the Soviet menace. Funded once again with US taxpayer money through the capriciously accommodative CIA.
Bin Laden has simply continued to do the job he was asked to do in Afghanistan during the 1980s — fund, feed and train mercenaries. All that has changed is his primary customer. Then it was the ISI and, behind the scenes, the CIA. Today, his services are utilized primarily by the reactionary Taliban regime.
Unfortunately, a rift between Osama and America developed after a productive partnership against the Soviets in Afghanistan. It seems that he began to resent our presence of troops in Saudi Arabia after the Gulf War in 1991, and began to accuse his indigenous peoples of becoming ‘puppets’ of the US.
When thousands of US troops remained in Saudi Arabia after the end of the Gulf War, bin Laden’s anger turned to outright opposition. He declared that Saudi Arabia and other regimes — such as Egypt — in the Middle East were puppets of the US…
His CIA ties are only the beginning of a woeful story
By Michael Moran
MSNBC
NEW YORK, Aug. 24, 1998 — At the CIA, it happens often enough to have a code name: Blowback. Simply defined, this is the term that describes an agent, an operative or an operation that has turned on its creators. Osama bin Laden, our new public enemy Number 1, is the personification of blowback. And the fact that he is viewed as a hero by millions in the Islamic world proves again the old adage: Reap what you sow.
Maybe that’s why Bin Laden was able to avoid his fate for so long, it seems he learned the stealthy tricks of the trade from one of the most duplicitous organizations on earth, the CIA. It’s really a shame when such a promising former operative needs to be hunted down and shot like a fugitive. What a convoluted and tangled, imminently expensive and ultimately purposeless foreign policy web we weave.

